Lovely Head: And Other Plays by Neil LaBute

Author:Neil LaBute [LABUTE, NEIL]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: DRA000000, DRA001000
ISBN: 9781468308471
Publisher: The Overlook Press
Published: 2013-04-02T00:00:00+00:00

THE WAGER

The Wager is a stage adaptation of the short film Double or Nothing. The film had its American premiere at the Tribeca International Film Festival in New York City in April 2012. It was directed by Nathaniel Krause.

GUY Adam Brody

GAL Louisa Krause

HOMELESS DUDE Keith David

Silence. Darkness.

A city street. Quiet now as it’s getting late (or early, depending on how young you are). A COUPLE —dressed for a night out—comes out the side exit of a club.

Nearby is a HOMELESS DUDE, sitting on the ground with the whole array of personal effects displayed: a dirty piece of cardboard and a ratty sleeping bag, a cart piled high with bags and shit, etc. He’s pretty much minding his own business. For now.

GUY … no, no, no, come on, seriously. Can we just go now? Please?

GAL Baby …

GUY Honestly, it’s … ( Checks watch. ) Sweetie, it’s 1:45. In the morning.

GAL I know.

GUY Yeah, well, you may know it but I’m aware of it, ok? And you know why?

GAL No. Why?

GUY … because I gotta work tomorrow! I mean today. I’m have to be at work in, like … six hours. (Kisses her cheek. ) Six.

GAL Me too! (Beat. ) Well, class. I have class tomorrow. Or today. Or … whatever!

GUY Uh-huh. At three. In the afternoon. And it’s an art class, by the way!

GAL So?

GUY So … that’s painting. Or pottery or … that sorta deal. It’s basically crafts. Like what kids do …

GAL It’s for my Masters.

GUY Great. Cool. Meanwhile, I’m actually going to be lifting and sweating and shit … thus the name “work.”

GAL Uh-uh! You’re in “sales.”

GUY Hey! Hey! We move things—signs and, and those big … standees. All kinds of crap! I’m a very physical guy at work and so … yeah. I’m in need of rest.

GAL Fine.

GUY No, not “fine” and you get all quiet now. I came out with you, a week night—I’m the guy who does, like, 60 or 70% of all the stuff you wanna do … karaoke or that one time I went bowling even, so just please. Please. Do this one thing for me.

GAL Okay. I’m not arguing. I thought we were having fun, but hey …

GUY You were! You and your girlfriends from the sketching class were having a great time but not me, and not half the guys who came with them. Alright? (Beat. ) You need to glance around once in a while … see how everybody else is feeling.

GAL What are you saying? Are you saying I’m selfish now? (Beat. ) Are you?

GUY … no … sweetie … I’m not saying that! I am saying that you’re very … “focused.”

GAL Sounds like you’re calling me “selfish.”

GUY I don’t care what it sounds like …

The HOMELESS DUDE has worked his way over to them by this point. He taps the GUY on the shoulder.

HOMELESS DUDE … hey man, what’s up?

The GUY stops, turns. Bemused by this man.

GUY Nothing’s up, dude. I’m having a private conversation with my girlfriend. Why?

HOMELESS DUDE That’s cool …

GUY Yeah, thanks for the endorsement there.

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